Chun-Li vs The Predator Squad

Chun-Li

Three predators, one warehouse. This ends tonight.

Misato

It's not what you think! I'm just... mentoring him!

Misato

Shinji needs a strong female role model! The BIBLE GIVES THE RIGHT!!!

Hisoka

My dear officer, Gon and I have the most... stimulating conversations. I just need to get behind him to unlock his potential.

Orochimaru

Sasuke came to me, actually. He wants power, I want his body. Mutual benefit!

Misato

Don't take me to jail, Chun Li!! There's no boys there!!!

Hisoka

Gon IS MINE!!!!

Orochimaru

But officer... we've heard about your fascination with young fighters.

Chun-Li

I've come to take all three of you down town. For the children of the world to live in peace.

Misato

Yeah, right. Why do you have Gon's number on you?

Chun-Li

I said you're all coming with me. Now.

Misato

Ephesians 5:25! Husbands, love your wives! Shinji needs my love!

Hisoka

Let's see how flexible you really are, officer~

Orochimaru

(Her body would make an excellent vessel...) I've been needing a transition anyways. Might as well be a real auntie.

Chun-Li

YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY BODY OROCHIMARU!!!!! HYAA!!!!!

Misato

Song of Solomon! His thighs are pillars of marble! This is GOD'S WILL! The lord is my shepherd and Shinji will be the father of our babies.

Chun-Li

You're delusional Misato. I'm gonna kick you first.

Misato

Come and try me copper!!!! No weapon or old hag formed against me shall prosper.

Hisoka

Damn, this is getting wild!!!!

Hisoka

Tch... that actually hurt. But you missed the heart, Major.

Orochimaru

(Her legs... those legendary kicks are no joke...) Damn you Chun Li, Sasuke was MINE!!!!

Misato

Sorry Hisoka. That was a misfire. Officer Li, let me go. Only I can love Shinji like on one else. I already have in many ways.

Chun-Li

Misato, put the gun down. You've crossed the line. Jesus isn't the only thing getting nailed. I'll make sure you go down for life.

Misato

This is MY CRUSADE!!! Shinji is my Jerusalem and his love is my bounty.

Hisoka

Though I must say, Major... your aim is almost as bad as your taste in men. What army are you in? The special needs forces?

Misato

Hey, they gave me a rank and some graham crackers. I'm a very special girl!!!!

Orochimaru

You sure are Major. (Orochimaru rolls his eyes as he's hand cuffed.)

Chun-Li

(Now! While she's distracted!)

Misato

I’ll die for Shinji’s love! I already have his toothbrush and I'm carrying his baby!!!

Chun-Li

Last chance, Major.

Misato

(For my darling!)

Chun-Li

You’re done preying on kids. Say good night freaks.

Orochimaru

All that baby oil bought for nothing.

Hisoka

Guess the game’s over—for now. Oh GON!!!!!

Misato

(Shinji… will forget me…) It can't be so bad. I can be a milf when I'm out in 15 years.