Blockbuster already knows

Marie Rose

Mr. Wilson, according to our records, you have 27 overdue DVDs from 2008.

Marie Rose

That's a fine of $3,429 plus late fees.

Deadpool

What?! That's highway robbery! I'm pretty sure Blockbuster went extinct with the dinosaurs!

Deadpool

Wait... how did you even find me?

Marie Rose

Blockbuster Video was a front. I'm actually Agent Rose of S.H.I.E.L.D., Supernatural and Heroic Internet Enforcement and Litigation Division.

Deadpool

Internet enforcement? That sounds... suspiciously specific and not at all related to DVDs.

Deadpool

(Please don't say browser history, please don't say browser history...)

Marie Rose

We've been monitoring your internet activities, Mr. Wilson. Your browser history is... concerning.

Marie Rose

Specifically your searches for "chimichanga-themed cosplay ideas" and "how to make Wolverine action figures kiss realistically."

Deadpool

That's an invasion of privacy! Haven't you heard of Disney+? Netflix? Crunchyroll? I use those perfectly legal services!

Deadpool

The action figure thing was for a friend. His name is... uh... Francis.

Marie Rose

Your streaming subscriptions expired three years ago. Sign here to acknowledge your fines and agree to mandatory internet safety training.

Marie Rose

And we know Francis isn't your friend. You killed him in the first movie.

Deadpool

Fine, whatever. But just so you know, I'm only signing this because I respect a good fourth-wall break.

Deadpool

(Mental note: Clear browser history BEFORE researching how to escape from S.H.I.E.L.D. custody...)