Gwar Gura gets PIP'd

Frieza

Miss Gura, I've been reviewing your performance metrics for the past quarter.

Frieza

I must say, I find them... disappointing.

Gawr Gura

A... um, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Frieza?

Gawr Gura

(Oh no, is this about the fish I keep in the break room fridge?)

Frieza

You've only written 187 lines of code this sprint. Our quota is 1000 lines per sprint minimum.

Frieza

I'm afraid I'll have to place you on a Performance Improvement Plan, effective immediately.

Gawr Gura

WHAT?! But I took on the entire authentication system refactor!

Gawr Gura

That's the most difficult task in the backlog!

Frieza

Excuses are like planets, Miss Gura. I can destroy them with a finger.

Frieza

The quota applies to everyone equally. It's how I maintain order in my engineering empire.

Gawr Gura

That's complete nonsense! Look at my pull request - I refactored everything to use 80% fewer lines!

Gawr Gura

The code is more efficient, more secure, AND easier to maintain!

Frieza

Wait... you reduced the authentication system from 5000 lines to just 1000?

Frieza

And implemented the new security protocol in the process?

Gawr Gura

Yup! A shark doesn't need bloated code to swim fast!

Gawr Gura

So about that Performance Improvement Plan... maybe we should discuss YOUR metrics instead?