how to cry (by frieren)

Frieren

Today, I'll be teaching a skill I've observed in humans over my long life: crying like an infant.

Frieren

This is apparently something humans do well without practice, unlike magic.

Frieren

Step one: Ensure your tear ducts are functioning. Most beings are born with these ready to use.

Frieren

Elves like myself produce tears at a much slower rate. That's why we seem emotionally distant to humans.

Frieren

Step two: Contort your face like this. The lower lip should protrude slightly.

Frieren

Himmel always said my attempts looked more like I'd eaten something sour...

Frieren

Step three: If natural emotions fail, use onions. This method has been reliable for over a thousand years.

Frieren

Though I must warn you, it's considered cheating in most crying competitions.

Frieren

Step four: Recall something precious that you've lost. Like... companions who were with you for what felt like merely a moment.

Frieren

I wish I'd asked Himmel more questions... learned more about what made him smile...

Frieren

(Why did I waste so much precious time when we had so little of it?)

Frieren

Oh... it seems the lesson has produced unexpected results.

Frieren

Class dismissed. I need to... document this phenomenon.

Frieren

Perhaps I'm finally becoming more human after all these years...

Frieren

How curious that it still hurts this much...