The vicious cycle of coffee

Joker

Today's blend has notes of caramel and dark chocolate. Perfect for a Wednesday afternoon.

Joker

LeBlanc's original recipe with a few personal adjustments.

Makoto

This coffee is excellent as always, Ren.

Makoto

(Finally some quiet time to catch up on reading.)

Yu

Hey everyone. Sorry I'm late.

Yu

(Had to stop at the bathroom AGAIN on the way here.)

Kotone

Sorry I'm late! The train was packed!

Kotone

Oh wow, it smells amazing in here!

Joker

House blend for Yu, caramel latte for Kotone. On the house today.

Joker

It's not often I get all the Wild Cards in one place.

Yu

(This delicious coffee... my greatest nemesis. The source of so much joy and so many bathroom breaks.)

Makoto

Yu? You look like you're solving a murder mystery over there.

Yu

Does no one else see the cruel paradox we live with?!

Yu

Coffee makes you need to pee, then makes you thirsty, so you drink MORE coffee, then pee MORE!

Yu

It's an endless cycle of biological torture!

Kotone

Oh my god, YES! I thought I was the only one!

Kotone

I timed it - twenty minutes after coffee, bathroom break. Every. Single. Time!

Makoto

(Is this really what we're discussing today? The biology of coffee consumption?)

Joker

You know coffee is a diuretic, right? This isn't exactly a Mementos-level mystery.

Kotone

I've been documenting it like a dungeon exploration! Look at my charts!

Kotone

If we could optimize coffee intake versus bathroom breaks, we could save literally HOURS of our lives!

Yu

I've created a theoretical model of the Coffee-Pee Paradox. See these convergence points?

Yu

We need to create a perfectly balanced coffee formula that hydrates without triggering excessive urination!

Joker

Wait, what are you suggesting?

Joker

You want to experiment with coffee in MY kitchen?

Kotone

If we add electrolytes and a binding agent, theoretically we can slow the diuretic effect!

Kotone

This is just like making those SP recovery items in the Velvet Room!

Joker

That's cornstarch, Kotone. And I'm pretty sure you just added cinnamon AND garlic powder.

Joker

Sojiro would actually kill me if he saw this.