L vision to eradicate sadness

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If we analyze the root cause of global sadness...

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The solution becomes quite obvious.

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Step one: Establish a worldwide dessert distribution network.

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Sugar levels directly correlate with happiness metrics.

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Step two: Install surveillance cameras in all cake shops.

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Can't have people hoarding the happiness resources.

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Final step: Everyone must adopt my sitting position.

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40% increase in deductive reasoning guaranteed.

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(Perhaps I should reconsider the mandatory crouching policy...)

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But the cake stays. That's non-negotiable.