USA!

Roxy Migurdia

As the Republican candidate, I promise to bring magical solutions to our nation's problems!

Frieren

The Democratic party offers centuries of wisdom. Vote for experience that transcends time.

Roxy Migurdia

My water magic will solve the drought crisis! No more dry spells in America!

Frieren

In my thousands of years, I've seen empires rise and fall. Trust me to guide this nation's future.

Roxy Migurdia

Wait, thousands of years? How old are you exactly? Is that even constitutional?!

Frieren

Age is just a number. A very, very large number in my case.

Roxy Migurdia

This debate has taken an unexpected turn... Maybe I should've stuck to teaching magic.

Frieren

And that, fellow Americans, is why you should vote for the candidate who can remember where they put their keys... from the last millennium.